Healing Begins with Awareness: Replacing Maladaptive Coping with Healthier Habits
I am going to guess that almost all of us have procrastinated at least once in our lives. Maybe it was putting off mundane tasks, such as grocery shopping, doing laundry, or general household tasks. Or maybe we put off more “serious” tasks, such as not checking our account balance or waiting to pay a bill, not going to the doctor’s office or dentist for a routine check-up or waiting to file taxes until the last minute. I can confidently say I’ve done all this at least once, most probably in the last few months. While this procrastination could be for a few different reasons, one common reason we might do this is due to our attempt at avoiding tasks, events and/or people that can be difficult or stressful to deal with. This can be referred to as “avoidance coping,” which is just one of many examples of what is known as a maladaptive coping mechanism.
Maladaptive coping mechanisms or maladaptive behavior refers to “patterns of behavior that are ineffective or counterproductive in meeting one’s needs or goals and can be harmful to many aspects of an individual’s life, including their physical and mental health.” Maladaptive behavior/coping mechanisms are essentially unhealthy ways we may use to deal with stress and while they are able to decrease said stress and improve mood, the relief from using them is usually temporary and sometimes physically harmful, which means they are not effective, long-term coping mechanisms.
There are many different types of maladaptive coping mechanisms, but some include:
1. Avoidance. As mentioned prior, this usually looks like avoiding situations or events to avoid possible stress or anxiety.
2. Disengagement. This can look like avoidance, but it involves numbing your emotions, shutting down or “checking out” and ignoring stressors or feelings of anxiety instead of dealing with them.
3. Anger. While anger can be a common emotion to certain situations, if you find yourself constantly angry as a response, feel the need to throw things or yell, or ultimately find as if your anger is out of control, this could be a sign of a maladaptive coping mechanism.
4. Maladaptive daydreaming. We all tend to daydream from time to time, but maladaptive daydreaming is defined as “an excessive and vivid daydreaming that can interfere with daily functioning.” These individuals may use this excessive daydreaming to cope with stress and/or underlying anxiety, depression, etc.
5. Self-Harm. This is another way individuals may try and cope with difficult feelings and is always harmful to oneself, either physically, mentally or emotionally. Examples include cutting and/or burning skin, hitting yourself, refusing to sleep, substance abuse, binge eating, over exercising and more.
If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, talking with someone and outside support can help. Contact Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741) or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 988.
These are just some examples of maladaptive behaviors/coping mechanisms, but others can include procrastination, blaming others or oneself, risky or impulsive behavior, and using “safety behaviors,” which are defined as “partial avoidance behaviors to avoid public humiliation.” Examples of these can include avoiding eye contact with others, wearing neutral clothing to avoid attention or minimizing your own feelings to avoid the possibility of confrontation and/or rejection from others. There are many different maladaptive coping strategies we may turn to when we are experiencing chronic stress or feeling overwhelmed, but it is also said that those with Anxiety Disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and/or unresolved trauma can be more prone to using these types of coping mechanisms.
Now that we know more about type of maladaptive coping mechanisms and why they can occur, how do we change them and adopt alternative, healthier strategies?
One step when treating maladaptive behavior is to both identify possible reasons behind the coping mechanism(s), as well as what said coping mechanisms are. An example would be that, when I’m personally feeling stressed, tired or overwhelmed, I tend to comfort myself with “unhealthy” foods, impulsively overspending or avoiding tasks that I need to get done and choose to doom-scroll instead. If you identify that you are using maladaptive behaviors/strategies but cannot identify what or the reason(s) causing them, it can be helpful to meet and discuss with a therapist. Not only can they help identify maladaptive behaviors you may be experiencing but can also teach you better coping skills. In this search you may also find that your maladaptive coping can be a sign of a diagnosable mental health disorder, in which therapy, medication (or co-occurring therapy and medication) can be beneficial treatment options, as well.
Another way to combat maladaptive coping mechanisms is distraction. As opposed to avoidance, which is keeping away from/avoiding a situation altogether, distraction is when we temporarily step away from a difficult situation and return when we feel less stressed or anxious. This could look like taking a walk, calling a close friend or family member, or listening to music or a podcast. This isn’t meant to be a long-term solution, but instead something that allows us to take a break, regroup and then come back with a (hopefully) clearer mind to face the situation in a more effective and less stressful manner.
This leads us to the next way you can treat maladaptive coping mechanisms, and this is to adopt healthier habits into your routine. These habits can help reduce stress levels, while also having a positive impact on your mental, emotional and physical health. These habits could include incorporating daily exercise, practicing deep breathing/mindfulness, focusing on your sleep habits, and spending time on activities/hobbies that bring you joy, such as reading, doing puzzles, crafting and more. Find what works for and start small, if necessary!
While healthier habits, such as incorporating exercise and mindfulness, can be a great way to combat maladaptive coping mechanisms, it is also important to allow yourself downtime, as well. If you constantly keep yourself busy and don’t give your time to rest, this can lead to risk of burnout, increased stress levels, and more. Taking even an hour or two to relax can help you recharge and refocus can help you have the energy to do what you really want to do and is more beneficial in the long run.
Finally, it is important to practice self-compassion. We are not perfect people and even if we actively work towards breaking the pattern of using maladaptive coping strategies and are consistently seeing a therapist and are getting high quality sleep, there are still times we may choose to avoid a situation due to anxiety. There are probably still going to be times when we get angry or buy something we don’t need or doomscroll for an hour and that is OK. A good reminder for these situations is to not shame or criticize but recognize that growth is not linear and shifting our overall outlook on ourselves can make a huge difference.
Maladaptive coping mechanisms are not the healthiest ways to deal with stress or trauma or anxiety and, while they might seem hard to break (such as avoidance or anger or overspending), they can be replaced with healthier, adaptive coping skills. Identifying any maladaptive coping skills, either by yourself or with a therapist, can be a good first step before finding appropriate alternatives that work best for you.
Staff Blogger: Mollie Clupper
Mollie Clupper works for MHA as a Communications and Support Specialist. Using her own experiences, she wants to help bring awareness and end the stigma surrounding mental health. In her spare time, she enjoys hiking, drinking coffee, and spending time with loved ones.