What To Do When You Don’t Feel Like ‘Yourself’ Anymore
At some point in our lives, we have all been there. Brief moments, days or even weeks on end where we just don’t feel like ourselves. While we may not be able to pinpoint the reason(s) behind feeling this way, we do know that something feels “off.” This could be described as in a funk, stuck in a rut or, usually how I refer to it, as just feeling “blah.” The good news is that going through periods of not feeling like yourself is not only common, but that you can get past it and to the other side. Now the question is – why do we feel like this?
There are many reasons why you may be feeling off or in a slump, including:
· Major Life Changes. This could be something such as getting married, moving, changing jobs, having a baby, getting divorced or going through a breakup, starting (or graduating) from school, and more. These life changes/transitions don’t have to be negative, either, as getting married or changing jobs (for example) can be both positive things that can still cause stress.
· Stress. Speaking of stress, it can have a huge impact on both your mental and physical health. The physical changes alone, such as causing headaches, muscle aches, and extreme fatigue, can lead you to feeling less like yourself.
· Hormones. This is something that we can’t necessarily control, but can still affect our stress levels, appetite, mood and more.
· Lack of Novelty. This is sort of like the opposite of the first point, because, instead of major changes, this is when there is a lack of change, and you essentially find yourself doing the same thing day after day. The monotony and repetitive feelings, without doing something new to break it up, can also cause someone to feel like they are in a slump.
Some other reasons that you may be feeling off could include not meeting basic needs (i.e. sleep deprivation, dehydration, etc.), feeling lonely or not making time for activities/hobbies that you enjoy. Sometimes the reasons that you’re feeling off or disconnected from your life can be due to a mental health condition that you may not be aware of or that is not being taken care of properly, such as anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder, just to name a few. If you suspect that this could be the reason behind how you’re feeling, it could be a good idea to talk to a mental health professional.
So, now that you have an idea of why you’re in a slump or at least know that you are feeling off for some reason, how do you move past it and start to feel like yourself again?
1.) Acknowledge It. Going through a slump/rut is common and not something you should feel guilty about, nor something you should push aside. In fact, the more we keep everything inside and push our feelings down can be worse for us in the long run. While this doesn’t mean we should sit in this slump or “off” feeling forever, it is okay to take time to feel your feelings and not feel bad about it. For example, if you didn’t get a job offer for a job that you really wanted, you may ultimately feel sad or disappointed. Instead of pushing those emotions/thoughts aside or thinking that these feelings “aren’t productive,” remember to give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling, even sit in these emotions for a few days, and then work to move on.
2.) Try Something New. This can be especially helpful if your funk is due to a feeling of monotony or not experiencing any major changes in your life. This doesn’t mean you have to suddenly sign up for skydiving, as even the simplest things can break up your routine and (hopefully) out of your slump, such as changing up your usual walking path or trying out a new recipe.
3.) Reconnect to Something Old. On the opposite of ‘trying something new’ would be reconnecting to something you’ve done before and really enjoyed, such as past hobbies, activities or routines. Reconnecting to a past hobby or activity can help rekindle a spark in you and remind you of what you used to enjoy.
4.) Make Time to Rest. As mentioned prior, some of the reasons we could be feeling off can be attributed to a.) too much stress and/or b.) not meeting basic needs. This means that it is extra important in these situations to take time to rest, relax and recharge. This means prioritizing high-quality sleep, drinking enough water, passing up on plans when you’re emotionally, mentally and physically tired (or simply don’t want to go), fueling your body and making time to do absolutely nothing (and not feeling bad about it).
5.) Having Self-Compassion. You may be having this “off” feeling for only a few hours or you may be experiencing it for days on end. In the case of the latter, it is especially important to be compassionate with yourself and not rush or shame yourself to just “get over it.” Just as you would do with a friend, show yourself kindness and remind yourself that it won’t be like this forever.
6.) Ask for Help. The truth is that, sometimes, we can’t (and shouldn’t) do things alone. If you’re feeling sad or lonely, reach out to a friend and ask them to spend time together. Or explain to your partner that you’re not feeling like yourself and can they take over cleaning or cooking duties for a few days. Asking your partner, parent, neighbor, co-worker, etc., for help doesn’t make you less of an adult, it makes you human. Now if you find yourself feeling this way for days/weeks on end and it seems to be just getting worse, you may want to take additional steps, such as finding a therapist and/or trying medication.
Some other ways that could help break you out of a funk can be creating a playlist/listening to music, taking a vacation (or staycation), spending time in nature, having a spa day or trying mindfulness activities, such as yoga, meditation, or tai-chi.
Not feeling like yourself, either for a couple of hours or a couple of days, is not an abnormal concept. It happens to almost everyone at some point in their lives and doesn’t mean you are “less than”, less capable or less of a person for it. Also know that it is okay to have these emotions and sit in them for a bit, as long as you don’t sit in them forever. Reflect and acknowledge what you’re going through, let yourself feel the feelings, and then take steps to help yourself move past it.
Staff Blogger: Mollie Clupper
Mollie Clupper works for MHA as a Communications and Support Specialist. Using her own experiences, she wants to help bring awareness and end the stigma surrounding mental health. In her spare time, she enjoys hiking, drinking coffee, and spending time with loved ones.